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Submitted on
September 29, 2012
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Sta.sh Writer
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"Baby, if you were the stars, I'd lay and watch you all night." His words were roof-top spoken, and five stories above a Brooklyn street.

She didn't notice, though, because she was tuned into every noise beneath them: Radios, cars, buses, bikes, steam lines, subways, fans, air-conditioners, televisions, power transformers and a high-up plane were lapping up her consciousness and weaving a lovely blanket of humanity where she could stay warm.

Cold was his distance on the aging roof. She realized a long time ago that his love had fallen for an idea, and that she fit that idea in form only. The short, dark-haired girl with glasses motif was one she wore well. He lived on that ideal: every evening of their lives together he would heat up that film-covered, plastic tray with the neatly organized concepts of her in the microwave of his mind and enjoy it bit by compartmentalized bit. 

But the variable of her heart was incalculable in his equation.  Knowing that what she loved was not the stars, but the amazing human equation festering beneath this rooftop was beyond his lofty vision. So, he watched the stars and she closed her eyes.  He focused himself on the world above, while she closed hers and let the trappings of human existence enter her through the vibrations of building below.

Two uncrossed lovers, one star-bound and the other soaking in the human pretense, shared a patch of Kings County above and below where they longed to be...

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:iconfernandezshe:
fernandezshe Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
is this love at its natural death? :(
Denying that it doesn't exist anymore and living in hypocrisy that it is still mutual, though both know and feel that what is happening is a lie... (that makes it mutual then)

oh sadness.
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, it's not a happy piece. And maybe it was never love. Maybe it was always a mutual attraction to what could be and not was.
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:iconfernandezshe:
fernandezshe Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
if that was never love, then both of them were masochists. being stuck there and living and satisfied with their wishful thinking
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I dunno. I just captured them as they were in that moment. I haven't created their whole back story.
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:iconsteroids98:
Steroids98 Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Eloquently phrased.
And not a drag of a read either.
Well organised and colorful imagery.

Love this.
You my dear get the honor of being
THE very first out of Few written peices
That have ever entered my favorites.
I only keep images and pics.
But this, by far is deserving if I do say so myself :S :D
Reply
:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very, very much.

But I think calling me "dear" is a bit much. :) I don't usually get called that by other guys.

Regardless of that, thank you.
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:iconsteroids98:
Steroids98 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No... Didn't mean anything of that nature with that. Didn't realize your a guy... The whole Alias sounds a bit benign in the fem department.

So I just assumed. But either way, Dear generically is used for courtesy.
But in our present world, Can't get away with that I guess. :(
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's okay. I was just teasing. The affection is fine, and being the first piece of lit in your faves is an honor...
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:iconthorns:
thorns Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012   Writer
As other people mentioned, this is a beautiful piece with a wonderful focus on the relationship issue. :love:

BUT! I think it would be a lot stronger without the ellipses. They're distracting, ineffective (in general), and really drag down the piece (for me personally). Make them periods or commas as needed and you'll see this piece, and your other pieces, flow better and appear more confident.
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:iconenigmaticsmile:
enigmaticsmile Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have made your suggested change. Thank you for the feedback!
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